How and Why to Exercise Your Shut-Up Muscle

In several recent meetings—both online and in-person—I've found myself wishing more leaders and team members would hit the 'edit switch' in their brains and choose to mindfully to shut up!

Some people drone on in meetings, seemingly oblivious as colleagues quietly tune out. Leaders, too, often think they’re modelling decisiveness by stating the problem and then swiftly prescribing a solution—no input needed. I talk about this in my book "From CAN'T to CAN DO", especially in the 'Inclusive Leadership' chapter.

Let’s be honest: leaders need to exercise their shut-up muscle! Sometimes the very best move is to pause, listen, and hold that thought.

Here’s why this under-rated behavioural muscle can transform your team’s energy and results:

1. Leaders Who Speak Last Get the Best Ideas

When bosses start a meeting with their opinions, the energy flattens and an echo chamber forms—creativity and honesty take a nosedive. Leaders should set the stage for diverse thinking and psychological safety by waiting before weighing in.

2. Silence is an Underestimated Super Tool

Silence is golden. Not rushing to fill every gap with words allows for deeper analysis and meaning. Plus, it creates room for new ideas and diverse voices to be heard.

3. Listening Builds Stronger Teams

Active listening boosts EQ and trust. Teams that feel genuinely heard are more likely to share bold ideas, flag growing risks, and collaborate openly. Improved Decision-Making and Problem-SolvingWhen people are free to speak without fear of immediate judgment or interruption, your team’s thinking broadens and your solutions become smarter and more inclusive.

I always love the HOW TO...

‍1. Wait to Speak

If you’re leading a meeting, make it a rule to let at least two or three people share first. Let your team’s voices shape the conversation.

2. Embrace Pauses

Welcome natural silence. Give people the space to process, reflect, and contribute. Don’t rush to “rescue” those quieter moments—some of the biggest breakthroughs are silent!

3. Ask, Don’t Tell

Pose questions instead of instant solutions. Invite colleagues to share and clarify their thinking.

4. Listen Like a Coach

Show you value others’ input—it builds trust and engagement.

5. Frame Silence Positively

Tell your team: silence is intentional 'think time.' It’s not awkward; it’s vital for thoughtful reflection and team safety.

So, at your next meeting, flex your shut-up muscle. Pause. Listen. Savor the energy shift. Watch as colleagues fill the space with their own brilliance—and enjoy seeing your team’s resilience and creativity soar!