Too ‘Stuck in Your Head’ … to Be Happy?

Self-awareness is the foundation of EQ. But here’s the catch: sometimes we get a bit too wrapped up in ourselves. Ever notice how heavy life can feel when you’re stuck in your own head?

Anthony de Mello puts it beautifully:“

Happiness releases you from self.It is suffering and pain and misery and depression that tie you to the self.Look how conscious you are of your tooth when you have a toothache.When you don’t have a toothache, you’re not even aware you have a tooth, or that you have a head, for that matter.”

That really lands for me.

When I’m happy—running with my friends and Bonnie (my spaniel), watching the sunrise—I’m not thinking about my worries or how I look. I’m just there, in the moment, feeling light, carefree and now in winter long the changing colour of the trees and the different flowers on people's pavements.

Self-awareness is essential, but sometimes we turn it into self-involvement!

We get weighed down by our own thoughts—overanalyzing, worrying, comparing ourselves to others. The irony? The more we focus on ourselves, the less happy we often feel.

Another gem from Anthony de Mello’s Book "Awareness":

“You are never so ready to forget yourself as when you are happy.When you are happy, you forget about yourself. You are not self-conscious, you are not worried about how you look or how you are coming across. You are just absorbed in the moment, in the experience.

The more you are focused on yourself, the less happy you are. The more you forget yourself, the happier you become.

”Ways to 'forget yourself' and invite 'happiness' in:

1. Seek Out Carefree MomentsWhether it’s a sunrise run, a walk with your dog, or laughing with friends, create space for experiences that absorb you fully. These moments help us “forget ourselves” in the best way.
2. Practice Self-Awareness—But Don’t Get Stuck There - Notice your thoughts and feelings, but don’t let them become your whole world. Use self-awareness as a springboard, not an anchor.
3. Shift from Self-Reflection to Other-ConnectionSometimes, the fastest way to lighten your emotional load is to focus on someone else: smile, listen deeply, or lend a hand / OFFER help!
4. Embrace PlayfulnessPlay is powerful. It brings us into the present, dissolves self-consciousness, and reminds us that joy is found in the “now,” not in perfection.

6 June is World EQ Day, but you should take time to notice the following...

When do you feel most carefree? How can you create more of those moments for yourself—and for others?

Celebrate self-awareness AND the freedom that comes when we “forget ourselves” and simply live.